What you resist, persists.
Is it a coincidence?
I have always believed there is no such thing as coincidence. Things come to you for a reason, so it pays to be mindful, but what about the things you resist? Is there a similar rationale? I would love to hear your story of something you resisted that came back to you in a powerful way.
I want to share a story that is admittedly a somewhat embarrassing one. Boston, where I live now, was for the longest time the source of my scourge, my least favorite city, a reason to say “I’ll pass” when an opportunity presented itself to visit. And how could that be? For so many, Boston is a beloved city, and its fans can regale you with many legitimate reasons and a strong rationale for their love.
For starters, I am a diehard Yankees fan, going back to my youth when my Dad taught me all about the Yankee greats. So, I think a lot of it stems from a competitive place. Another root cause came from my love for New York City, where I lived in or around for nineteen years. In my mind, nothing could compare to New York City and dare I say, no place should try. But that greatness is almost universally accepted, so why was I so put off by Boston?
Reflection really set in when I assumed the role of CEO at Tourism Cares and had to move to, you guessed it – Boston! It was then when I came upon the quote “What you resist, persists” authored by the famous psychoanalyst Carl Jung. Jung theorized that not only will your thoughts persist, but they will grow, and you will only get more of it.
Learning a hard lesson
Over two years in, I have learned a valuable lesson. Not simply that I like (maybe even love) Boston, but that our minds are constantly playing tricks on us. We hate something for a reason and usually it is the fear of the unknown or a new path, or we articulate our hatred as a means of protecting what we hold closely. It is a quick fix, and it feels good.
We are living in a turbulent time. Xenophobia and hatred are on the rise, people of color and disadvantage are suffering, so I make this point to highlight the need for all of us to find a different coping strategy.
Stop denouncing, it is exhausting. It is time to lay the gloves down.
You can control your thoughts. You may need to engage them in a different way and try to understand what it is that you are resisting or hating.
Understand that there is a law of attraction.
A defensive posture only serves to perpetrate old, out of date thoughts and feelings about yourself.
My content self and the work that I do
I am working hard to find my content self, helping others to do so as well. So much of my learning journey is related to the work that I do at Tourism Cares, which teaches me something new each day.
Our greatest priorities in life should focus on collaboration and not competition.
Community is everywhere. Do not mistake your love for your community as an indictment on the community of others. Value and respect diverse communities.
When it comes to sustainability, the adage of “what you resist, persists” will apply and prevail.
Some anecdotes about Boston
One of my favorite stories about adapting to Boston came from the founder of Tourism Cares and a mentor to me and many others - Bruce Beckham. When I moved to Boston, I lived in the South End. Bruce established Tourism Cares in his hometown of Canton, south and west of Boston.
I asked him one day if he was coming into the city and he politely cut me off and prescribed a lesson – he said, “Greg, here in Boston we do not refer to it as the city; rather, we say we’re coming in town.” Boston is indeed a town. Small, but mighty. I had always wanted to live in a college town. And now I live in arguably the greatest of all college towns.
Am I destined to be in Boston forever? Is it my fate, especially after years of denouncing it? We will have to wait for another blog to answer that question. But let me leave you with this … I have always wanted to have a dog. I was allergic as a child and after years of shots, I came out of it with enough antibodies to do so. My favorite dog is the Shiba Inu, a beautiful, independent, and quirky Japanese breed, so my partner and I applied for adoption at the Shiba Inu Rescue of New England. Long story short, we became the proud adoptive parents in June 2020 of two senior Shibas named Whitey and Billy, who have become Zoom celebrities (sadly, Billy recently passed on), and for those of you who know Boston, I need say no more – they were named after the Bulger brothers! So, you can see that what you desire also persists… and that includes a delicious lobstah roll.
